I will be honest with you folks: I was starting to worry that this whole "pandemic" situation had destroyed my capacity for wonder. How, after all, are you supposed to gaze upon something with wide-eyed delight when everything is just so bad all the time? Well, turns out I was wrong! And all I needed to discover this was a recent photo of Channing Tatum taking out the trash in gold lamé pants.
Why is he wearing these pants? Why does he even own them? Does he own them, or might they belong to Jessie J, with whom he's rumored to have reconciled after splitting up? I want to know the answers to all these questions! Maybe they're a castoff from the Magic Mike costume closet. Or perhaps they're just something he got, "you know, for fun," because the world is strange right now and sparkly drop-crotch pants might just be the antidote to an ever-bleakening worldview.
They are, without a doubt, the antidote to my ever-bleakening worldview, which was pretty dire today before I saw Channing and his Glad bags bare-footin' it out to the big trash cans. But now? Now I'm awash in fun new ideas. What if we did an at-home production of Step Up called Step Up 4: These Pants? The plot would matter even less than it did in the original Step Up, but it could center on a pair of pants from the wrong side of the tracks that find love and happiness through dancing.
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