Catelynn Lowell Vents Frustrations at Daughter Carly's Parents for Missed Visits: 'I Know I Chose This'

Tyler Baltierra asked fans to have grace with Catelynn Lowell after she candidly opened up about missing visits with their oldest, whom they placed for adoption

<p>Catelynn Baltierra/Instagram; Tyler Baltierra/Instagram</p> Catelynn Baltierra (L), Tyler Baltierra with daughters (R)

Catelynn Baltierra/Instagram; Tyler Baltierra/Instagram

Catelynn Baltierra (L), Tyler Baltierra with daughters (R)
  • Catelynn Lowell Baltierra and Tyler Baltierra were first introduced into the world in 2009's 16 & Pregnant

  • The episode followed the then-teen couple's decision to place daughter Carly, now almost 15, adoption

  • Since then, the couple's highs and lows with Carly's parents, Brandon and Teresa, have been documented on Teen Mom

Catelynn Lowell Baltierra is frustrated about her struggles as a parent who placed a child for adoption.

The Teen Mom: The Next Chapter star, 32, shared an Instagram Story on Thursday, May 9, venting about a situation between herself and husband Tyler Baltierra, and the parents of daughter Carly.

The Baltierras — who met in high school and began a relationship in 2005 — have a relationship with their biological daughter Carly, whom they placed for adoption in 2009 during their time on the Teen Mom origin series 16 & Pregnant.

"Adoption is wild ... Being at the mercy of someone that can say no..." she began, noting, "I know I chose this, there’s no need to tell me!"

Catelynn continued, "I will just never understand how you say that you 'love' us and will always be 'blessed' for us ... BUT you can’t take TWO days out of your entire year to just meet up for dinner and do a park or something small? Especially when we said we would travel to YALL?!"

"I know for me ... people I LOVE and are blessed to have, I MAKE time for! So now we most likely won’t see her until she’s 16 ... And who knows if that will even happen ..."

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Related: Tyler Baltierra, Catelynn Lowell Talk with Daughter Carly About Boys and College (Exclusive): 'It's Awesome'

On Friday, May 10, Tyler spoke out in defense of his wife after commenters were harsh on her criticism of Brandon and Teresa, who have been featured in previous episodes of both 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom.

Some commenters suggested that the decision of whether Carly sees Catelynn and Tyler is ultimately Brandon and Teresa's, but that they could be looking out for Carly. People were speculating as to whether or not a teenage Carly would want a relationship with her birth parents.

Admitting he "debated" on addressing the situation, Tyler wrote, "Carly is almost 15 years old. Throughout those 15 years, her parents have chosen not to have our (mutually agreed upon) annual visit, MULTIPLE times!"

Noting instances of this have happened and been documented on the show before, Tyler continued, "We can waste our time asking questions, dissecting responses and begging for an answer ... but we are NOT entitled to it (regardless of how much we may believe/wish otherwise). All we can do is accept the decision without the requirement of an answer."

Catelynn Lowell/Instagram Tyler Baltierra and wife Catelynn Lowell Baltierra
Catelynn Lowell/Instagram Tyler Baltierra and wife Catelynn Lowell Baltierra

Tyler said that he and Catelynn "have to trust that [Brandon and Teresa]'s decision is for the best interest of Carly."

"Because that is the honor, privilege, and gift we chose to give them when we decided that they would raise and be her parents."

Tyler noted the "human cost" of the difficult circumstances. "Most will never know the pain of what it takes to fight against the most powerful, biological and instinctual nature that's required to make that choice."

The father of three — who also shares Rya, 2½, Vaeda, 5, and Novalee, 9, with Catelynn — explains that it's a pain similar to death, but "at least with death, there's a tragic finality to it."

"There's no guessing. There's no false hope, and there's nothing you can do to bring them back or change it. But grieving your child while they still live is truly an unexplainable pain in so many ways, I won't even attempt to put it into words."

He then spoke out in defense and support of Catelynn. "With that pain, inevitable, comes emotional reactions and expressions. My wife fights this pain every day. Some days are a victory and some days are not."

"But her expressing that pain on those particular days when she is vulnerable, sad, and at a loss, should not be used as an attack against her character," he noted, asking fans to be "please be kind."

"I know the assumptions, criticism, and judgments are all part of the territory when it comes to living your life in the 'spotlight,' but we're still human beings at the end of the day. This whole thing is hard for everyone involved. We're only human after all and I believe we all could use some more grace and understanding towards one another!"

<p>Catelynn Baltierra/Instagram</p> Catelynn and Tyler with their three daughters, plus oldest Carly

Catelynn Baltierra/Instagram

Catelynn and Tyler with their three daughters, plus oldest Carly

In an October episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter, the before and after of the family's last visit with Carly was shared.

As the family started on their trip home from the visit — their first visit in two years and longest since the adoption went through — Novalee reassured her parents, "Well at least we'll see her next year."

As both Tyler and Catelynn wiped away tears, Nova added, "Mom, I just want to say that Carly will always be in your heart. And she'll always be in your life. She's not gone forever, just for today."

Catelynn Baltierra/Instagram Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell with baby Carly in 2009
Catelynn Baltierra/Instagram Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell with baby Carly in 2009

In a confessional, Catelynn delivered a message to Carly, saying, "I just want you to know you are the biggest blessing in my life — somebody who has pushed me to grow in so many great ways. You were meant to come into the world to literally create change, to teach me things, to teach your parents things, to teach my other family members things."

"I am so proud to watch you grow up. I love learning about your passions and stuff and just seeing how great of a person you are. I love being able to witness your goofy and silly sides because it reminds me so much of Ty and to see that you have a little bit of our personalities is truly amazing."

Catelynn tearfully continued, "I just want you to know that you are loved. If you weren't loved, I never would have made the decision I made for you because I wanted to be selfish and not make it sometimes, and I know that it would have been selfish to keep you in that chaos. Literally, it's all about love. I don't ever want you to think that you weren't loved or that we didn't want you."

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