Carl and Laura Lentz Open Up to Daughters About Rekindling Their Sex Life After Cheating Scandal
Carl Lentz said he initially believed he and his wife Laura "would never have sex again" after the scandal
Miguelangel Lugo
Carl and Laura LentzIn a new episode of Carl and Laura Lentz's podcast, the couple had a candid conversation about their sex life following his infidelity scandal
"How long did it take ... for you to feel comfortable to have sex again?" their daughter Ava asked on the latest episode of the former pastor's podcast
Carl previously told PEOPLE that the children were eager to share their side of the story
Carl and Laura Lentz are opening up about rekindling their sex life following the infidelity scandal that resulted in their exit from Hillsong Church.
In November 2020, Carl was fired from his position with the church due to what was described at the time as his past “moral failings.” He later confessed to having an affair, and sought treatment at a specialized outpatient facility.
Since then, the couple have been candid about why they stayed together, including opening up to PEOPLE about their journey to healing — and on the latest episode of Lights On with Carl Lentz, which also featured their daughters Ava and Charlie, now 20 and 18, the couple discussed the impact the scandal had on their sex life.
"How long did it take ... for you to feel comfortable to have sex again?" Ava asked during the episode, acknowledging that while it might seem like a "weird question" to ask her parents, "nothing's weird" and "sex is an important thing."
Initially, Carl, 45, said he believed he and his wife “would never have sex again,” which he had come to terms with. “I was like, ‘I've lost the right to even … ask for that,’ ” he recalled.
Meanwhile, Laura admittedly “had a lot of trauma and things to deal with” following the scandal. “For me, I just needed to have that assurance … I just need to feel close,” she explained. “And it wasn't just, like, having sex or anything. It was just being like, I just needed to have you next to me. But it took a while.”
Carl recalled one night after the scandal broke when Laura asked to be close to him, and how much her body was shaking at the time. Laura said she “wanted to feel connected to” Carl despite all they had endured.
Afterwards, Carl contacted his therapist for advice, who told him to be there for his wife and “hug her.”
“Her body is releasing the trauma that you've created,” Carl recalled being told, noting that the therapist said that might continue for years to come. Moving forward, he said he was told, "Your job is to do whatever she says. If she wants to have sex, you need to have sex. If she wants you to hug her, you need to hug her.”
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When Laura expressed interest in having sex again, Carl was “surprised that she ever wanted to be intimate ever again."
“I know often, women who have been tormented and cheated on, their body reacts in different ways,” he said. “And you’ve got to just be there for the storm.”
Miguelangel Lugo
Carl and Laura LentzThe Lentz children, including 15-year-old Roman, were eager to see their parents share their side of the story after the scandal, but were also interested in sharing their own thoughts. And despite some critics, podcast episodes featuring the Lentz children have received lots of positive feedback, the couple previously told PEOPLE.
“They've been waiting to say some stuff,” he said. “So they made me promise that, ‘When you do it, Dad, we want to talk.’ ”
Laura added their children “appreciated the honesty” they received from their father about the scandal, and believed it has “made them closer to their dad."
But it took Laura some time to fully forgive her husband, telling PEOPLE it took nearly three years for her to tell Carl that she forgave him.
“It's been a lot for me to put that last guard down … because you put yourself out there again to be hurt,” she said. “So, it's been a process.”
Laura went on to share that she hoped being open about what they went through will offer “a little bit of hope for someone else maybe who's going through the same situation.”
“You don't have to stay. I would not tell anyone to stay. It's been my personal journey,” she said. “But if anyone wants to listen, I would love to help give a little perspective where I can to share my journey in this situation.”
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