Cardi B Felt Like She Was 'Letting Everybody Down' When She Backed Out of Tour to Care for Newborn Daughter
"Postpartum is something you can't even explain," said the rapper
Cardi B remembers feeling guilty when she had to back out of her Invasion of Privacy tour after having daughter Kulture.
The "I Like It" rapper, 31, spoke with Rolling Stone in a new interview, opening up about her journey into motherhood. Cardi shares her two kids — Wave, 2½, and Kulture, 5½ — with husband Offset and welcomed her daughter just months after her first album Invasion of Privacy dropped.
"I was really, really scared," Cardi remembered of backing out of her tour. "I [felt] like, damn, I'm letting everybody down. I'm letting my family down. I'm letting everybody that works for me down."
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Related: Cardi B Admits Feeling Uneasy About Leaning on Her Parents for Support with Her Kids: 'They Mine'
"My baby was so little — germs and planes and ear popping on a newborn?" Cardi asked. "Can you imagine a baby in a f---ing tour bus?"
Comparing the first year of motherhood to competing on a game show, the rapper said, "It f---ed me up. Yo, postpartum is something you can't even explain."
When asked to clarify if she meant postpartum depression, Cardi explained, "Postpartum everything. It becomes depression because it's a drastic change."
Elsewhere in the interview, Cardi shared that she's currently trying to look for a nanny, but noted that she's been leaning on her parents for support. The rapper added that although it's been nice to have support, she's worried about putting too much pressure on them.
"I had them kids," the mom of two told the outlet. "They came out of my p----, not my mom's. They mine."
Although she maintained that her husband is helping out when he can now that he's back from tour, Cardi said she still feels overwhelmed. Nonetheless, she told the publication, "My kids come first. My kids come before anything."
In December, Cardi shared a few photos on her Instagram of her two kids, including one of daughter Kulture side-by-side with a picture of a younger Cardi.
Rocking a pink, fur-trimmed jacket, Kulture struck a pose, mirroring a photo of her mom's younger self. In the throwback pic, Cardi wore a similar pink, fur-trimmed jacket and had her hands on her hips, smiling for the camera.
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