Bride’s Sister Asks Her to Change the Date of Her ‘Extravagant’ Wedding So It Doesn’t Overshadow Her Nuptials

The bride noted that she and her sister's nuptials were three weeks apart and that her sister asked her to "tone" down her "extravagant" wedding or postpone it

<p>NataKor/Getty</p> Stock image of Maid of Honor and Bride


Stock image of Maid of Honor and Bride

A bride is turning to the internet to help her decide what to do after her sister asked her to change the date of her wedding so that their respective big days aren’t so close together.

The 27-year-old explained in a recent post on Reddit’s popular "Am I the A------?" thread that she and her fiancé, Raj, decided to host a “lavish Indian wedding,” which has been a dream of hers “since childhood.” However, her little sister Sarah, 25, is also tying the knot, and their weddings are three weeks apart.

She said that Sarah, who is planning a “traditional Christian wedding,” came up to her and expressed “concerns” that since their weddings are so “close together” that her Indian wedding “might overshadow hers,” as it is more “extravagant and involves multiple days of celebration.”

“Sarah asked if I could either tone down my wedding, consider postponing it, or even make it a fully Christian ceremony to balance things out,” the bride wrote. “I told her that I understand her concerns, but I’ve been planning this wedding for over a year, and it means a lot to me to have it the way I’ve always imagined.”

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She also shared that she told her sister that their “cultural backgrounds are different,” making each wedding special in its own way, and that postponing her wedding would be a “huge inconvenience and financial burden” for her and her fiancé “given the extensive preparations and bookings” that they've made since they began wedding planning a year ago.

However, the bride noted: “Sarah was very upset and accused me of being selfish and not caring about her feelings. She thinks I’m prioritizing my wedding over our family’s well-being.”

The bride said that their mother, who is Christian, sided with her sister and told her that she should “change” her wedding to a “fully Christian ceremony” or “incorporate significant Christian elements.” As for their father, who was raised with Hindu traditions, she said he supports her decision and “believes that both of us should have the weddings we want,” according to the post.

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She went on to add that her mother has since "started going overboard” and even threatened not to attend her and Raj’s wedding unless she changes it to a Christian ceremony. According to the bride, her mother has even gone a step further to call extended family members and try to persuade them to “side with Sarah and boycott my wedding if I don’t comply.” She noted that her father has been trying to “mediate,” but the situation is “getting more tense by the day.”

“Sarah and I have always had a complicated relationship, and while we support each other, there’s often been underlying tension due to our different personalities and choices,” she wrote. “Now, I’m feeling torn. I don’t want to hurt my sister or cause any family rift, but I also don’t want to sacrifice my dream wedding.”

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Several commenters on the Reddit post replied that the sister who chose to have their wedding date so close to the others’ was the one in fault, as one person wrote, “Whichever of you booked your wedding date second is definitely a bit of an a------ for booking it in the same month as their sister.”

"That aside, given that the dates were done and decided a long time ago, you absolutely shouldn't have to either tone down your wedding or change it to a Christian one to meet your sister or mother's unreasonable demands,” they added.

Another person noted the financial strain on the family writing, “Honestly three weeks apart is very close and most likely a lot of people won’t be able to do both if travel is involved. Your parents should have never allowed the weddings to be that close in the first place.”

Others wrote that the bride’s mother was in the wrong for trying to change the wedding to what she wanted.

“Your mother is picking [a] favorite, and she is emotionally manipulating you," one Redditor said. "If she doesn't want to come, let her. Her choice, but don't change your wedding… No one has the right to tell you to throw all your hard work in the bin.”

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