For the final night of the 2020 Democratic National Convention, Veep and Seinfeld star Julia Louis-Dreyfus took the helm as host. She was the last in a list of high-profile celebrities emceeing the convention's four-night event—following Eva Longoria, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Kerry Washington—but Louis-Dreyfus took a more humorous and combative approach with a breadth of one-liners, zingers, and jabs at President Donald Trump.
Wearing a belted white dress by Roland Mouret, the 11-time Emmy winner took the stage to kick off the night. And during one of her monologues, she recalled the time that she first met Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden—when he was the real-life veep. She also shared that soon after their initial meeting, she'd graced the cover of Arrive magazine, the onboard glossy for Amtrak, and when she thought no one had read it, Biden called her to say that he loved every part of it.
"Joe Biden not only knows how to read," she said, subtly poking at Trump's intelligence and reputation for not even skimming documents he's presented with, "but also, he reads everything." The actress's other quips were much more obvious.
Without a live audience, the pauses and silences between the punchlines could get awkward, but Louis-Dreyfus's jokes were not lost on Twitter. Read some of her best lines below.
"Joe Biden goes to church so regularly that he doesn't even need tear gas and a bunch of federalized troops to help him get there."
She was referring to how protesters were teargassed in June to clear the way so Trump could take a photo with a bible in front of St. John's Episcopal Church in Washington, D.C.
Julia Louis- Dreyfus with the line of the night.pic.twitter.com/tOl1FHxEOT— Ted Corcoran (Red T Raccoon) (@RedTRaccoon) August 21, 2020
"Our current president has made me cry, too, but it's never had anything to do with his warmth or kindness."
When Louis-Dreyfus was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017, Biden reached out to check on her, she recalled. She remembered shedding tears from the former VP's "real warmth and kindness." With the current president, however, her tears tell a different story.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus says when Joe Biden called her after her cancer diagnosis, “his real warmth and kindness...man, I gotta say, it made me cry.”— ABC News (@ABC) August 21, 2020
“Our current president has made me cry too, but it’s never had anything to do with his warmth or kindness.” https://t.co/6DLWHOY082 pic.twitter.com/3w338RK9A9
"Text 'VOTE' to 30330. 30330―that would be the president's golf score if he didn't cheat."
The Veep star came for Trump's golfing obsession and election interference. "Okay, look, I'll admit that was a little nasty. But we all know he's a cheater. And I'm proud to be a nasty, nasty woman," she added.
Louis-Dreyfus also went for VP Mike Pence with mispronunciation jokes. Implying that she didn't know how to say his name correctly—and "taking aim at Republicans" who seem to be having a hard time pronouncing "Kamala"—she said she couldn't wait to see a debate between Kamala Harris and "Mica Pints. Or is it Paints?"
Former Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang suggested, "It's pronounced 'Ponce,' I believe."
"Tonight, I couldn't be prouder to be a loyal union member, a passionate climate activist, and a patriotic Democrat, or as Donald Trump will call me in a tweet tomorrow, a washed-up, horse-face, no-talent has-been with low ratings. Well, with all due respect, sir, it takes one to know one."
Easily her best line of the night. No explanation needed.
“As Donald Trump will call me in a tweet tomorrow, ‘a washed up horse-face, no-talent has-been with low ratings’.— JLDaily ~ Julia Louis-Dreyfus fanpage (@JLD_daily) August 21, 2020
Well with all due respect sir, it takes one to know one."
We don’t deserve Julia Louis-Dreyfus.#DemConvention #DNC2020 #JuliaLouisDreyfus pic.twitter.com/VgHuMNXo6T
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is handing @realDonaldTrump his ass tonight and I👏AM👏HERE👏FOR👏IT👏— JenMcPenn (@jenpenn22) August 21, 2020
"A washed up, horse-faced, no talent actor with low ratings.
It takes one to know one, sir"" pic.twitter.com/F6Zlqjr8Z5
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