Don't tell Amanda Kloots to stop dancing.
The co-host of The Talk, 40, took to Instagram on Wednesday to share a message in response to a direct message from a follower. Kloots shared a video of herself attending a dance class, writing in the caption that she had received a "scolding" for "working out and teaching fitness" the day after her late husband's mother, Lesley Cordero, died. Though she "this is not the first time someone has written to me telling me that I'm not grieving to their standards," Kloots used the message to explain how she manages grief.
"A very powerful thing I've learned through grief is what I need to do for myself to release the pain — what helps me to process the trauma so it doesn't stay stuck," she explained. "One thing I do is workout and the other [Dancing With the Stars] really helped me realize, dance. Dancing every day during that show released stored pain that I didn't even know I still had in my body."
She added that the day after Lesley's death, Kloots had signed up for a dance class that was outside of her "comfort zone." Though the Fit For Christmas star said she "almost chickened out," she ultimately went and had an "unforgettable" experience.
"I allowed myself to completely let go," Kloots wrote. "I put every emotion I had in me into each step- the sadness from loss, the build up from weeks before, the ptsd I was experiencing, the shock, the heaviness and weight of trauma. I took all of it and danced it out in front of a group of people I didn’t know. I didn't look in the mirror. I didn't judge myself. I just danced. It was one of the most cathartic experiences I've ever had. I got home and felt like a completely different person — lighter in my head, heart and body and filled with new energy and light."
Kloots shared two morals to her story.
"The first…. DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO GRIEVE! Do not let anyone's judgements get in the way of how YOU heal,” she said. "They will never know or be able to understand an ounce of the weight you carry with you every single day. The second… GET TO KNOW YOURSELF! What do you need? What makes you feel better? Then DO THOSE THINGS AND DONT LOOK BACK OR AROUND. YOU GO FORWARD!"
Kloots' followers applauded the message in the comments section. One wrote, "There's no handbook for grieving. People should stop acting like there is one." Another added, "Grief is so different and personal to everyone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, only your way. I had so many comments after my fiancé died about what I 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing as a bereaved person, as a widow. People have a very black and white idea of how they would be, what they want to see of you. It doesn’t work that way, you have to do what feels right for you!"
Kloots, whose husband Nick died of COVID-19 complications in 2020, has hit back at criticism of how she is grieving before. After she was criticized for dating again, Kloots confronted the backlash on social media.
"I started interviewing other widows live on Instagram, and I put a face to what people were calling a 'horrible thing,'" she explained this month on Cheryl Burke's video series Diving Deep. "I was like, let's talk about dating after you lose somebody. And I was like, let's get into the honest truth about it because everyone’s judging me, and us, for doing this."
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