Alicia Keys 'Didn't Feel Like Myself' When She Became Famous: 'I Had to Conform' (Exclusive)

Alicia Keys opens up to PEOPLE in the latest digital cover about how the entertainment world "was like an alien universe" when she first became famous

When Alicia Keys rose to fame, she was just a teenager — and before long, she’d been thrust into a spotlight she wasn’t exactly ready for.

It was 2001 when Keys released her debut album Songs in a Minor, and the album was a smash hit, notching No. 1s like “Fallin’” and earning the star her first five of 16 total Grammy awards, including best new artist.

But Keys, now 44, tells PEOPLE in the latest digital cover that she found the entertainment world difficult to navigate, especially as she struggled with constant acne breakouts.

“I always felt like on top of being a young girl just entering into the music business, exploring, being on television and performing under hot lights and sweating and just [being] in a whole new universe—it was like an alien universe,” she says. “I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I had to conform to everybody’s expectation of what they thought I was or should be.”

She continues: “And it really took quite a lot of discipline and a lot of time before I got to the place where I realized that I didn’t have to be this person, that I didn’t have to fulfill other people’s dreams of me. I could actually just be who I am.”

Related: Alicia Keys Is All Heart (and Soul)

Embracing her identity is a lesson that’s served her well. In late 2020, Keys launched Keys Soulcare with dermatologist Dr. Renée Snyder, as a way of helping people honor the connection between skin and soul, and be their best selves.

“It’s hard to be [yourself]. Who are you? Who actually are you anyway, most of the time? It’s tricky, especially at the very beginning,” she says. “You’re trying to fit in. You want people to like what you’re doing, you want positive feedback. And when you don’t get that, it feels jarring, and it definitely feels uncomfortable.”

Related: Alicia Keys Reveals Her Secret to Strong Marriage with Swizz Beatz: 'Speak Your Truth' (Exclusive)

Keys, whose brand recently partnered with Amazon Premium Beauty, says it was her relationship with beauty that eventually helped her to understand herself better, and recognize that what she calls “toxic energy” was no good for her.

“I didn’t understand that I needed to check in to myself and say, ‘What makes you happy? What’s going to bring you joy? How can you release the things that don’t serve you?’ ” she says.

For more on Alicia Keys, check out PEOPLE’s latest digital cover.

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Read the original article on People.