In serious need of some winter date ideas? Yeah, us too. Here are some imaginative, romantic and unique wintertime date suggestions that will help keep the romance toasty-warm between you and your lover (and add some pumpin’ pumpkin spice to your bedroom activities, too).
It’s so cold outside that you wonder whether it’ll look like your butthole is vaping if you sneak a cheeky fart into the frosty air. Your heating bill has so many zeros on it that at first you think it’s been sent to you in binary code. Yes, winter has hit with full force, and between the chapped lips and Lemsips, it’s not always the sexiest time of year. So here are some winter date ideas to plan with your lover(s)...
Drinking wine is a joy all year round, but it's especially romantic in winter. There's just nothing like walking into a toasty wine shop, taking off your coat and hat, and settling down with a warming glass (or five) of a fine red. Oeno House in London's The Royal Exchange is run by an all-female team, which is still pretty much unheard of in such a male-dominated industry. Home to 4,000 wines as well as charcuterie and cheese platters, the boutique also has further access to over 45,000 bottles of wine that can specially ordered upon request - including the rather exclusive Henri Jayer Vosne-Romanee 1er Cru Cros Parantoux 1985 Magnum for £75,000 if you're feeling particularly flush!
2.Read each other's tarot cards
Even if you think tarot is a load of nonsense, and don’t ascribe any spiritual significance to the practice, experimenting with reading each other’s cards can be a surprisingly revealing conduit for constructive conversation about what’s happening in your lives or on your minds. It can prompt you to think more deeply and in different ways about situations you’re both facing, plus – because there’s a creative storytelling aspect to how you interpret what the cards show – it can be a good precursor to some intimate role play.
Fiongal Greenlaw is founder of The Wellness Foundry, who run introductory tarot reading courses. While most card packs come with a basic guide to what each tarot symbol supposedly means, he suggests that you “don’t over-complicate things – try asking your partner to lay out six or seven cards they feel describe what’s happened in their day, then say what you see in the images; their backgrounds; colours; and any common themes or details you can spot.” Tarot is about instincts and intuition; have a bit of fun interpreting what you think each picture might say about your date’s experiences and feelings, then invite them to share why they made their choices.
Alternatively, you could book an hour-long video reading as a couple. It’s important to remember that tarot is not about predicting the future or fortune telling. It’s about reflection, and finding your own answers to questions you might be asking yourself. And making smutty jokes about how your addiction to your DOXY wand vibrator definitely makes you the Queen of Wands.
Are you a star-spangled banger who’d like to learn more about the zodiac and astrology, but from an LGBTQ+ POV? Check out Queer Cosmos, the new book from “gay Gemini Twin” astrologer Colin Bedell, which teaches you how to read the stars as a way to gain insights about your own personal identity and relationship compatibility.
3.Run (or fly) away together
A survey of over 7,600 adults conducted by Decathlon found that one in three Brits would prefer to go for a walk, get out into nature or enjoy some kind of active date rather than sitting on their arses with their amoré at the cinema or pub. Secret London Runs arrange bloody brilliant jogging tours of the capital: their Yule Jog takes in the best Christmas lights, while others focus on women’s history, in an effort to right the fact that only 13% of the city’s blue plaques celebrate female figures.
Feel like – frankly – fucking off as far away from this chilblain of a country as you can?! Srprs.me are a surprise holiday company: you and your lover specify when you’d like to leave, how long you want to be away for, and anywhere you direly don’t want to go, then a few days before you depart, you’ll get a scratchcard revealing where you’re off to. Wowcher do something similar, while Wingly will link you to a private pilot so you can whisk your beloved off on a helicopter tour of LDN or soar over the Scottish spots where 'Game of Thrones' was filmed – and prices start at an eyebrow-raisingly reasonable fifty quid.
4.Attempt a world record
Reckon you could put on more than 31 T-shirts in 60 seconds, one at a time? If you can, you’re a record breaker – and your prize is for your partner to take them all off…
What about sticking more than 58 Post-It notes on your face in a minute?! Each must be stuck there yourself, measure a minimum of 73mm on each side, and stay glued to your mush for at least 10 seconds after the minute has elapsed. Afterwards, use them to write sweet messages on for your partner to find and smile at during the coming week, and think how lucky they are to have such a delightful doofus as a darling heart.
Or you could try eating 90.7 grams of jelly in a minute…with one hand behind your back…using chopsticks. Getting messy and silly together is frikkin’ fabulous foreplay for relaxed, FUN sex, so grab some Superdrug strawberry lube to follow your strawberry dessert shenanigans, and things could easily get a trifle saucy.
Sex educator Lola Jean holds the world record for the largest volume of female ejaculate or ‘squirt’ produced in 30 seconds, at a supersoaking 1251ml. She managed the feat using just her hands, but recommends the Womanizer Duo clitoral and G-spot stimulator for contenders who want to train to take her (wet) spot.
5.Spend an evening in chocolate heaven
Start by warming up with a mug of hot choc from Whittard’s Hot Chocolate Advent Calendar for Two: each of the beautiful drawers contains a twin sachet, including sticky toffee pudding and peanut butter flavours. You could make it a nightly bonding ritual to unwind with a cup together; and to up the erotic ante, print off some x-rated stories from Cosmopolitan's bank of free erotic fiction or FrolicMe, fold a few pages into each drawer, and take turns to read aloud.
If you’re in an energetic mood, challenge your lover to a treasure hunt using golden chocolate coins, or if you’re both channelling calmer vibes, try awakening your senses and slowing your heartbeat by practicing a mindfulness exercise with a single chocolate truffle. First, notice the weight and texture of the chocolate in your hand; next, really taking your time about it, allow yourself to breathe in its perfume; then take a small bite, let it melt gradually in your mouth, and pay attention to the flavours and sensations and how these change as you move your tongue. The aim is to help you become more aware of all the different, subtle aspects of pleasure – a skill that can greatly enhance sexual experiences too.
Finally, share a sensual shower, lathering up with Palmolive Chocolate Passion Shower Gel, or run a tub full of bubbles and break in a few cubes of Chocolate Bar Bath Fizzer, before heading to the bedroom, to enjoy a flicker-lit massage using Hotel Chocolat’s Cacao & Vanilla scented candle and Almond & Cacao Body Oil. You’re bound to end up in Boneville. Ahem – Bournville.
Sangeeta Pillai hosts the Masala Podcast: a show for South Asian women that addresses topics that are traditionally seen as taboo within the culture, such as sexuality, periods, mental health and sexual experimentation. “Why not go back to the third century this winter and take inspiration from a time when love-making wasn't seen as a goal-oriented exercise?” she suggests. “In the Kama Sutra, a man usually awaits his lover with soft pillows and garlands of fragrant flowers. He takes his time playing her musical instruments, offering her betel leaves to chew on and sweet drinks to sip, and talks to her about forgotten stories and lyrical birds. Sex wasn't just an act, it was a whole art form to be perfected, days of delight to be savoured.”
Betel leaves are both carcinogenic and highly addictive, and your ornithological knowledge may not quite be in Attenborough territory, but you can still take on the excellent essence of this idea with an intimate indoor sensory picnic. Spread out throws and cushions on the floor, and split a bunch of fresh flowers into separate stems placed in bud vases to give the impression of being surrounded by blooms. Listen to a sensuous, meditative Headspace bird song soundscape, a titillating erotic audiobook from Shades or Dipsea; or a guided audio activity from Emjoy or Ferly, designed to enhance sexual awareness and connection.
The Naked Marshmallow Company sell a kit that comes with two gourmet mallow flavours and an indoor toasting stove: you could feed one another while trying aphrodisiacs like avocado to see if they actually work.
Give each other facials (no not like that you filthsatchel…yet) using SPAA masks and spritzes infused with heady tuberose, and cooling jade rollers, which are shaped to massage and tone the contours of the face, and feel delicious. Because mainstream gender roles are as restrictive as extreme bondage but nowhere near as fun, heterosexual men don’t often have their faces touched in pampering ways; the experience can be profoundly blissful. And, if you want to transport the bliss downstairs, try WooWoo Bliss Arousal Boosting Oil: it contains CBD extract, aloe vera, hemp and geranium and helps fingers glide over bodies, bits, and inside pic-knickers.
7.Design a sex toy
Got bollocks all money to go out on a date? Stay in and put your heads together to invent a new sex toy idea for Lovehoney’s Future Sex 2030 competition, and you could win £5000, plus royalties on your invention if it’s brought to life and sold. Trevor Murphy, who entered his Squeel oral sex wheel concept in 2009 has since raked in over £320,000! Kerching! And OoooooOOOOoOOo…
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