55 Purrfectly Hilarious Cat Jokes for Kitten Around

Why does the cat do stand-up? He lives for the a-paws!

Stand up aside, cats are funny when they aren’t even trying. From trying to catch the laser pointer to headbutting and kneading you randomly, they’re always up to cute kitty antics. And even if you don't personally have one of the cutest cats ever, it's hard to deny how much these furry friends can make you laugh. That's why we know you'll get a kick out of these hilarious cat jokes (including some pretty great cat puns).

So if funny felines are your thing, look no further. We have hiss-terical jokes for cat people of all ages — with so many jokes for kids — purrfect for kitten around.

The Funniest Cat Jokes

  • What do cats call a nice dinner? A fancy feast.

  • Why are kittens excellent bosses? They have great littership.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A mice cream cone.

  • What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? An alley cat.

  • Who was the most powerful cat in China? Chairman Miaow.

  • Why don’t kittens play fetch? They’d rather catch a nap.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite jacket? A purr coat.

  • What’s a cat’s least favorite jacket? A fleas-lined coat.

  • What do you call a cat prom? A Fur Ball.

  • What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed? A Himalayan.

  • What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter.

  • Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? She was a sher-paw.

  • What kind of cats teach college classes? Purr-fessors.

  • Why was the cat sitting on the computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.

  • Why did the cat have trouble writing his second novel? He only had one tail to tell.

  • What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement.

  • Why does the cat do stand-up? He lives for the a-paws.

  • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

  • Why was the cat so small? Because it only ate condensed milk!

  • Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!

  • What did the cat say about her intuition? "I just had a feline."

  • What did one cat say while her friend was complaining? "Tail me about it."

  • How did the cat comic know he was funny? The audience was yowling with laughter.

Cat Jokes for Kids

  • What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

  • Why do cats always beat dogs in video games? Because they have nine lives.

  • What's a kitten's favorite kind of sticker? Scratch and sniff.

  • How does a cat answer the phone? “Meow may I help you?”

  • Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark.

  • Where did the kitten want to have her birthday party? At a pounce house.

  • Why don't leopards play hide-and-go-seek? They're always spotted.

  • What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.

  • What party game do cats love to play? Mew-sical chairs.

  • What is a cat’s best subject in school? Hiss-tory.

  • What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!

  • How do cats mix cake batter? With whiskers.

  • What do you call a cat with eight legs? An octo-puss.

  • Why can't you play board games in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

  • What do you call a stylish cat? A dandy lion.

  • What do cat artists usually paint? Self paw-traits.

  • Why do cats hate laptops? They don't have a mouse.

  • What do cats look for in a significant other? A great purrsonality.

Cat Jokes for Adults

  • What is a cat’s favorite thing to drink on a summer day? White Claw.

  • Why did the kitty get an "A" on their English assignment? They properly used an independent claws.

  • What does a cat order at a bar? A Whisker Sour.

  • Why aren’t cats religious? They’re scared of dogma.

  • What do you give a cat with allergies? An anti-hiss-tamine.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite comedy show? Caturday Night Live.

  • Did you hear about the cat that ate a bad sausage? It was the wurst.

  • Why did the cat go to a therapist? It had claw-strophobia.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? Claw & Order: Special Kittens Unit.

  • What do you call a cat who runs the post office? Post Meowster.

  • Why shouldn’t you buy essential oils from a cat? It’s probably a purr-amid scheme.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite board game? The Settlers of Cat-an.

  • What is a cat’s favorite type of exercise? Paw-lates!

  • What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

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