30 Little Ways to Show Your Partner How Much You Appreciate Them

You don’t need fancy vacations or public declarations of adoration to make your bond rock solid. “It’s not the big things that make a marriage great, but rather the random acts of kindness that follow the golden rule of relationships: Do unto your partner as your partner would like you to do,” says John Van Epp, PhD, therapist, author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, and founder of Love Thinks.

“Become a connoisseur of your partner. Learn what words, acts, expressions, gifts, and touches are the most meaningful and desired,” recommends Van Epp. In other words, show your appreciation and love to your partner in the ways that mean the most to them. “When you get out of your world and into your partner’s, then your little acts of kindness become momentous,” says Van Epp, and help your partner feel known, valued, and loved. We asked real couples about their little acts of love—read on for 30 small but oh-so-meaningful ways people show appreciation to their partners. (Take notes!)