The Year 2020 as Told By Dionne Warwick Tweets

R. Eric Thomas
·6-min read
Photo credit: Monica Schipper - Getty Images
Photo credit: Monica Schipper - Getty Images


Photo credit: .
Photo credit: .

We've arrived at the point in December when, normally, year-end recaps start to drop and we all get to reminisce about everything that transpired over the last 12 months. This year, of course, anything that reminds us of what happened at any point in the recent past feels like a threat and must be blocked and reported. Every 2020 Year End recap should start with, "Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?"

How do you adequately summarize a year that begins with "Yikes!" and ends with "Sheesh," and had a middle portion that was just screaming while accidentally being muted on a Zoom call? It's my personal opinion that what I saw, did, thought, and felt this year is none of my business and it should be locked in the Disney vault like the movie Song of the South. 2020 is the first year on record when the annual reviews all come with a content warning. If you were to send out a tweet that read "Wow, this year had its ups and downs," Twitter would slap it with one of those "this claim is disputed" tags.

So, how do we measure, measure a year? I would humbly but vociferously insist that we use as a measure one of the only redeeming aspects of this year: the emergence of Dionne Warwick, Diva Tweeter.

The legendary singer who invented giving directions in "Do You Know the Way to Sante Fe?" and shook the table of the morning routine industrial complex with "I Say A Little Prayer" has recently joined the only good part of Twitter: beloved older celebrities carrying on and occasionally throwing shade.

A mix of kooky auntie vibes and celebrity self-awareness, Warwick's foray into the bird app is a bit of a surprise. Though she's had an account since 2012, she wasn't a regular tweeter and from the standard marketing copy format of many of her tweets it could be reasonably assumed that her presence was the work of her social media team. Who could blame her? Willingly going on Twitter for free? Couldn't be me. But something changed right around the election. Warwick's tweets started showing a lot more personality, humor, and inquisitiveness. She started engaging more with fans and her Twitter presence got so good that, of course, people started assuming that someone was ghost-writing her tweets for her. You really can't win with people.

Warwick was having absolutely none of it and took a video to stop the nonsense with the same energy that she probably had when Aretha Franklin sent a fax in an attempt to re-start her decades old beef with Warwick.

Who knows why the Dionne Warwick decided to grace us with her internet presence but in this year that was woefully short on genuinely wonderful things, let's not question it. Instead, if we're going to look back on 2020 (which, again, we should not; we should lock it in a utility closet in our mind palaces), we ought to only do it by finding the Dionne Warwick tweet that applies to every situation we encountered this year.

That time in 2020 when we all had to have Zoom birthday parties that we didn't quite no how to end:

That time in 2020 when every quick, in-person office conversation suddenly became a Zoom meeting you had to put on a shirt for:

That time in 2020 when Taylor Swift went big with her political endorsements and then dropped a pandemic-produced album and everyone had no choice but to stan:

That time in 2020 when Taylor Swift dropped a second pandemic-produced album:

Every time in 2020 when Trump held a televised rally:

Pretty much every day of quarantine/the election:

That time in 2020 when every conservative grifter got faux-outraged about "WAP":

That time in 2020 when everyone's Spotify Wrapped proved we were all high-key spiraling and spending hours listening to tracks of ocean sounds:

That time in 2020 when there was a long overdue racial reckoning and a lot of corporations had some very awkward Zoom meetings as they raced to catch up:

That time in 2020 when some people and companies were actually good at having hard conversations, listening, and changing:

That time in 2020 when everyone got really into a game where you managed a small business in a competitive market:

That time in 2020 when Justin Bieber got salty about being nominated in the Pop Grammy category instead of a different one:

That time in 2020 when Zendaya made Emmy history by becoming the youngest person to win Outstanding Leading Actress in a Drama Series:

That time in 2020 when Pride was postponed:

That time in 2020 when we all made the same New Year's resolution:

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